Men are swayed more by fear than by reverence

 Sea Devil (Doctor Who)

"Coulrophobia is an abnormal, exaggerated, or irrational fear of clowns"

Something that I suffer from. I absolutely shake just at the thought of the floppy-footed, red nosed, fake, evil things.

Why do we fear things?

Survival mechanism. Our autonomic nervous system controls our fight or flight response. In the wild an animal has to stay alert to potential danger so when it detects something it kind of screens the sensory input through an interpretive process to determine if it’s a danger. We don’t live in the natural world and our brains just don’t know that some of the things we fear aren't harmful. That is why fears and phobias are prevelent and so diverse in our society. From my fear of clowns and cotton wool to somebody's fear of spiders, the dark, or a fear of having phobias.

Fear can stop you doing things. Atychiphobia is the fear of failiure, which for me in a romantic sense goes hand in hand with the fear of rejection. I did ask someone out a while ago as you will have probably guessed from previous posts, she said no. Yes, it hurt and kind of still does but that's life. She's a beautiful, fun, caring person but I guess she doesn't rate me very highly. Understandable? Yeah! But the reaslisation of those fears does actually change your behaviour. Not in the way I behave when I'm with people that I know understand me, but, with people that have the power to make me feel that way again, more guarded if you will.

  

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

It is very worrying to me that our society is so hung up on what is "artificial" and not what is natural.

Today's society is overrun with individuals who are obsessed with the way they look. When I say this, you may think that I am only referring to women. Of course, the majority of people obsessed may tend to be women, but more and more men are jumping on the vanity bandwagon.It's particularly worrying that people who are judged to be attractive are generally attributed more positive characteristics than those who are seen to be unattractive. This is very true in modern politics and is a very worrying trait. People voted for Nick Clegg because he was cute, David Cameron because he was posh and looked smart in a suit. Please don't doubt this because I know and know of people who's reasons were those.

What if say, Dennis Healey knew the answers to our present economic crisis? He's old, outspoken and not by any means cute. Or 'Ming' Campbell, when leader of the Liberal Democrats was derided for being old and quietly well spoken. If he was 35, tall, commanding and 'cute', the Lib Dems would be our government now.

On another track, I've personally seen people promoted ahead of me and others in a professional capacity because they are attractive. I hasten to add, not in my present employment! To take a case in point, a colleague of mine, male, I'd say about my level on the attractive scale (I'd say 2/3 out of 10), applied for a position and was qualified, and so everyone thought, perfect for the role. Yet his opposition was an extremely pretty, flirty young girl, not qualified or respected by the staff. The interviewer was a 30-something male. Guess who got the job? Aesthetics and using sexuality to get a job.

This sounds like sour grapes from one of the 'ugly brigade' but I assure you it isn't. If you are the right person for the job, position or just the right potential partner, it shouldn't matter whether you are attractive physically or not. If you are attractive and right for the role and the lesser attractive person is not right, the attractive person should succeed.

Intelligence, personality, wit, trustworthiness, compassion, fun and kindness should be what matters, not if your nose is the right shape or if you have big ears or a tummy.....

Aspirations...

IF.....

IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling... An exceedingly good poem.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Ugly;- Displeasing to the eye; unsightly.

An ode to people like me..

Well, Friedrich Nietzsche believed that what didn't kill us, makes us stronger. And I believe that that is true in more ways than one. Tall, good looking guys can be as thick as **** and still get laid. Where as we have the impetus to learn how to use wit and intelligence to our advantage, and thus we generally do better academically; thereby getting better jobs! Also, we tend to improve ourselves in all the ways that we can, making ourselves more rounded people. And of course we have most probably been victims of prejudice ourselves so we can see things from many angles, we tend not to stereotype or become stuck in simplistic ways of thinking.

Beauty is everything
In this shallow world
If your ugly then prepare
To live life in hell

You’ll never be accepted
And seen as the same
Your whole life you will
Be treated as one big game

Everyone will believe
They have the right to put you down
The rule is ugly people cant smile
They must always frown

What have you got to smile about
We’re ugly in every single way
And these nasty, vein, shallow people out there
Enjoy telling us that every single day

We’ll never be treated as equals
And seen as real human beings
People out there will never understand
We think and have our own feelings

Anyone can be heroic from time to time, but a gentleman is something you have to be all the time.

So what does it mean to be a gentleman in the 21^st Century?

Primarily, it means subscribing to a superior standard of conduct. This is not a suggestion to feel superior to other people; rather it implies being considerate, polite and calm.

By remaining calm in a difficult situation, the gentleman spreads a feeling of security and confidence in those around him. In turn, this opens up the possibility of a positive outcome by mutual agreement and compromise, rather than a competitive butting of heads. The rewards for such activity are obvious: not only does the gentleman gain the respect of all involved, but also the reputation of being a reliable, solid influence in an overly complex world.

Honesty, integrity and fair play are some of the hallmarks of a real gentleman. A firm belief in equality of the sexes - and all races, creeds and colours - is the basic building block of respect, both given and received. The gentleman should never seek an unfair advantage over an adversary in competition but instead should try his utmost to achieve the best he can at all times.

It also means attempting to further oneself intellectually and culturally. By learning more about as many different subjects and cultures as possible, the gentleman not only stays on top of things, but also shows respect for people with a different background. This can be as simple as knowing how to say "hello" to a foreign visitor or as complicated as having a layman's knowledge of a companion's profession. Once again, payback comes in the form of mutual respect, with the additional benefit of remaining true to one's ideals.

Being polite and showing respect are, of course, the essence of being a gentleman. That's not to say that a gentleman is a fawning wimp. Quite the contrary, in fact: he is frequently an immovable resistance where morals or justice are concerned. By his exercising a polite and friendly attitude, tense situations can be handled with aplomb and all parties involved get to express their beliefs and concerns, leading to a deeper understanding for everyone. A reputation as a diplomatic, reasonable individual can lead to great things.

A gentleman is protective of the people for whom he cares, but not possessive. Once again, the aura of being a solid, reliable individual is essential. There is no need for macho displays of territoriality when one is comfortable with oneself and remaining honest and true will ensure that a companion, friend or acquaintance knows exactly where they stand at all times.

Above all, I believe the question of what being a gentleman means can be answered by quoting one of my closest friends: "A gentleman always tries to make sure that the other person feels comfortable."

I aspire to the ideals that I have set out above, occasionally (read: usually) falling short, but always atempting to live by the ideal, "A gentleman's way is always clear".

The problem that someone like myself is posed with is thus- Is this combined with good manners, ie. opening doors for ladies, walking on the road side of a pavement, pulling out chairs etc, an outdated mode in todays society?

Does this make a man unexciting? Lacking coarse masculinity?

I always stand steadfast for my beliefs yet, I'm willing and ready to admit when I'm wrong.

I think my true definition of a gentleman is- A gentleman should never have to act like a gentleman he just is.

Don't blame the boss. He has enough problems.

I've got a good boss in work.

Actually, he has to oversee an awful lot of people with a multitude of problems, gripes and moans yet still has a sense of humour and time for all of us.

Not like a couple of bosses I've worked for! I still have nightmares about pineapples!

A few people have asked me where I'm most happy and the answers in order are- Road trips and drives with my Bestest, Prenton Park (home of Tranmere Rovers), walking my dog, my local pub and work.

For work to make the list is really an unusual thing for me, previously it was an inconvenience or at worst, a dreaded place to be.

Now I rather like most of the people and have good bosses, in general. I'm quite glad of that.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

"My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself."
Maya Angelou

Apologies for the last couple of posts, just got a bit of news that was a bit harsh on my self-esteem (well, whats left of it anyway!).

More-or-less back to my usual self. "Thank f**k for that" I hear you say!

Just a quick insight into how I tend to deal with things...

I don't.

I just deal with the initial hurt/happiness/disappointment and compartmentalise it and move on.

Or just speak to my Bestest but shes been a bit to busy to talk recently (I've really needed her too), so I've done the 'Kris' thing and 'turtled'. To 'turtle' is to seriously retreat into yourself and just put the facade up that everything is fine. Nobody needs to know whether I'm withering inside or jumping for joy, I'm just fine.

Plus, I've found a huge dose of sarcasm helps.

This is not intended to be a guide on how to deal with things, the exact opposite in fact, please don't do what I do, it kind of eats you up until the facade is all you have left.

So, expect rants on the usual subjects and not a huge amount of insight into me for a while.

"More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself."
Chuck Palahniuk

I'm a one-man idiot.

That picture sums it up perfectly.

Fool.

I can admit when I'm wrong. Shock!?

I was wrong in the last post.

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

Some people don't get it, some do, some just don't try.

I've realised I kind of tend to do and/or say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Foot in mouth syndrome I suppose you would call it..

How does a normal person tell someone they like them? Flirt? Just tell them? Me... Nah.

How's that for a modern, confident 'metrosexual' man? Pretty damn bad I guess.

She's pretty damn beautiful too.

I think it worked though....

The Smiths Please, please, please, let me get what I want

If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.

Ever wondered why you bother?

Why try so hard at, or with something to only get ignored?

Ignorance is not bliss, it is just an excuse to not care and then not take responsibility for your actions or inaction. My problem is that I care far too much. Something like that is in-built and nothing, no matter how hard you try can, or could change that.

At least things are going okay for the Super Whites (Tranmere Rovers) at the moment. Plus, the Yanks are hovering, a takeover is in the offing.

+

=

It just came to me in a dream, like St. Paul on the road to Domestos

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If god (or whatever of that type of thing you believe in) exists, then why, when people say that he has spoken to them do they get sectioned?

I chase rainbows, where's my pot of gold?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe

Life is simple, it's just not easy.

What to do?

What to say and when to say it?

Just a bit bored of being that extra chair.

If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?

"There is no denying that men carry a heavier burden when it comes to February 14. While the task of coming up with a special Valentine’s Day gift or romantic gesture is placed upon men, women are not necessarily expected to reciprocate. Statistically, men spend significantly more money for this holiday than women. In addition, many men feel tested on Valentine’s Day. Did they spend enough? Was the gesture seen as sincere? Depending on the status of a relationship a gift may be taken too seriously or not seriously enough. Imagined or not, some men see Valentine’s Day as a relationship performance evaluation."

What a sad piece!

If how many flowers you buy, or if the card was big enough or any of that other commercial crap is seen as a "relationship performance evaluation", there is something seriously wrong in a relationship.

Shouldn't you let that person you love know every day and not just Feb 14th?

I bloody hate valentines day!

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

In the dark, forgotten street
Where time, like a fog, curls 'round one's feet
And the slow hum of people begins to fade
I present to myself my own accolade
Most likely to pray to the stars above
Most likely to never find one's true love
Most likely to die, alone on a street
Where time, like a fog, curls 'round one's feet

To err is human. To forgive is unusual

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

And on and on... Then you get hit by a bus.

Too bad that all the people who really know how to run the country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair. Maybe I should have chosen a different profession.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
And yet I still ignore it.

I'll start my description of Valentine's (crap) day tomorrow...

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

I has been said that wine echos life, this is quite true in many cases (excuse the pun).

Some wines and people people become a vintage with age, others turn to vinegar.

Some unexpected wine is beautiful and surprisingly deep, like some people, some are expensive and have no depth.

Some are memorable, unforgettable, in their taste or the situation tasted, some bring back bad memories of hangovers or or forgettable nights.

What type of wine are you?

I would say I'm a Cloudy Bay Sauvignon Blanc, unusual, slighly dry, a bit acidic, liked by a few, derided by others, forgotten until the next vintage.

Either that or...

An admission...

Is it wrong to say that you have had enough?

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company

Another insight in to my slightly mis-wired mind anyone?

No? Tough!!

A week off work this week, and I've kind of missed it. The banter, the involvement, the fun.

Plus the unnamed person I like, works in the same place...

Someone said in response to more sarcasm of mine recently...

" Have you seen you?"

To which the only answer was, "yes unfortunately, I felt quite ill"

This brings me to the real point of this post.

Everything in todays society HAS to be aesthetically pleasing. God forbid the banana is the wrong shape or that politician or 'celebrity' isn't beautiful.

People become 'famous' for sitting in a house talking crap, being a terrible singer or exposing themselves to large amounts of paperazzi. What happened to talent? We mock Bruce Forsyth's age, Susan Boyle's hideous face, but idolise some talentless half-wit from Britain's-Got-The-X-Factor-Strictly-Jungle-Ice-Dancing-Big-Brother. That Scares me. What happened to REAL talent? Morcambe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Victoria Wood, Bottom, The Young Ones, Only Fools And Horses, Minder, Z Cars, Morse, Waking The Dead, Our Friends In The North, Boys From The Blackstuff, Auf Wiedersehen Pet, Bob Monkhouse, et al?

Apart from some talentless nobodies attempting to sing, some talentless nobodies eating kangaroo penis, some talentless nobodies attempting to dance or really badly acted and scripted, overplayed, overbroadcasted soap nonsense, what do you look forward to on tv?

There used to be shows you would stay in for, stay up for or wait all week to see. Now, would you stay in to see Lembit Opik eat dingo bollocks? Or a mentally retarded 50 year old from wigan attempt to sing at an anorexic person (Cole), plastic person (Minogue) and an incredibly rich walking ego (Cowell)? Or see some equally retarded gypsy children get married? It is disappointing if that is the highlight of our televisual experience.

It's also depressing that Prime time tv includes the likes of talentless nobodies like Ant and Dec and the pointless Vernon Kay (Wasn't funny, isn't funny, won't be funny).

Glad I got that off my chest!!!!

Arty farty...

Just some of my favourite art.

A short history of almost nothing...

Have you ever wondered why you bother to do some things?
We recycle, the collection people split the bags and leave the rubbish everywhere.
We vote and the same idiot gets his seat over and over again, due to a severe lack of credible opposition.
Some people believe in god, they never get any proof and when they do they are sectioned.
What a mad world at the moment.

Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know

Waaay to much alcohol last night was consumed by my good self. Had some not so great news and was talked back to some form of sanity by my Best Friend. In fairness I owe her a lot.